In our highly social and public world, we’re always under pressure to put up a brave face.
Snapchat, YouTube and Instagram and sometimes even Facebook all push us towards carefully curated performances – showing ourselves off at our best – because why?
We’re humans. We want people to see and believe the best about us.
However that can bring with it worry, stress and sometimes fear – fear of shame, ridicule and of failure.
Fear in and of itself, is an inbuilt mechanism to keep us from hurting or harming ourselves.
But just like any other emotion, it can easily become irrational if not founded in truth and humility.
The problem with social media and the public lives we now lead is that is very hard to see past your own screen and really get a sense of how people perceive you.
Soon after you post, you begin to check posts incessantly to see how any people have liked or commented.
You analyse each comment – placing value on the number of likes or comments or even the calibre or ranking you give to the people who’ve commented.
Sometimes paranoia sets in - you start imagining that people could be outwardly praising you and showering you with likes and thumbs up, yet privately laughing at you. Or ignoring you.
For those in the public arena, worse still are the trolls that heap abuse or scorn on your efforts.
You start obsessing about the one comment made by Joe Blow, ignoring the hundreds of other positive comments.
Fear of failure sets in and from what I’ve heard and seen, it can send people into a deep depression.
Yet none of that fear is founded in any kind of truth.
Joe Blow’s cowardly abuse does not have the power to stop your career. Auntie Mildred’s comment on your weight gain does not have the supremacy to whisk away your dreams.
Susan’s ignoring of your post because she’s on holiday abroad and doesn’t have wifi will not cancel your contract.
And Rod’s cryptic yet somewhat negative comment is only a reflection of his own discontent and not a reflection of your aspirations.
Unhealthy fear comes from a place of perceived or imagined danger, which usually isn’t dangerous at all.
Unhealthy fear is illogical, oftentimes irrational, and mostly without use.
The only way to overcome fear is to face it - both healthy and unhealthy.
But you can only attempt it if and when you feel equipped to do so because of your trust and faith in yourself, your talent, your God, or the Higher Power of your understanding.
It is impossible to walk in faith and fear at the same time. If we replace our unhealthy fears with unending faith, we will be amazed by how quickly our fears will subside.
And while there’s a lot to be said of courage, when it comes to your reputation and future, there’s such a thing as healthy fear.
Taking action out of healthy fear rarely results in any feelings of shame.
As opposed to unhealthy and irrational fear, healthy fear encourages or inspires us to to plan ahead, to protect our reputation, to work hard, to cultivate the right legacy building qualities inside us, and to build a firm foundation for our future and for those who come after us.
Insight Inspiration:
While healthy fear recedes after it serves its purpose, unhealthy fear tends to carry on because there is no real end goal.
Since there is no clear directive from unhealthy fear, rather than inspiring us to take action it causes paralysis and aren’t any clear ways to take action on it.
Whatever you do, work on replacing your unhealthy fear with faith – faith in yourself, your journey, your humanity and your validity. Also remember that healthy fear is powerful when it comes to your brand.
Fear of loss of income, fear of ridicule, fear of making costly mistakes – these are all necessary and wise fears.
When you understand that proactively managing your brand out of a healthy fear of losing your reputation is going to put you in a position of strength and not in one of powerlessness, you’ll do whatever it takes to ensure your reputation remains intact.
Think on it.
