Step 27: Map Your Tribes

Being with your tribe is a trusted place where you can be vulnerable without wearing masks, and be honest about what you want your life to look like and feel like.” – Rena Whittaker (BeingTribal)

Choosing your tribe is crucial to your brand and to your long-term legacy. Simply because you are the sum of those you spend your time with.

This has never been more true for me especially in my 40s. A few years ago I realised that not everyone I surrounded myself with was meant to walk the journey all the way beside me.

The main reason? They weren’t truly supportive. They weren’t necessarily bad people, but they didn’t have the same vision and philosophy. Their values didn’t mesh with mine and that was absolutely fine.

Cleaving from them simply meant creating more room for my true tribe to grow. And grow it did, beautifully might I add.

When it comes to whom you have in our tribe, there’s the tribe you can’t escape - your blood, family, partners and loved ones.

There’s the tribe you adopt – friends and colleagues.

Finally, there’s the tribe you invite – followers, networks and fans. When picking your closest tribespeople, choose those who are supportive of your destiny and you of theirs.

Those who speak with encouragement, truth, hope and light, who live genuine, honest lives – not just publicly, but most importantly privately as well.

Be wary of those who speak badly of others to you – they’re most likely speaking badly of you to others.

Your responsibility is to then make sure that your tribe is nurtured, starting with your family.

One of the most melancholy things I’ve seen is entrepreneurs and business owners who sacrifice family for the dream.

I can’t tell you of how many CEOs I’ve worked with who are killing it in the boardroom yet privately ignoring their toxic marriages and neglected, angry kids who are desperate for love and attention and willing to do what it takes to get it.

Please. Never, ever neglect your loved ones for the sake of your ambition.

Here’s some insight: The word nurture is connected to food. So go beyond providing for them to feeding them with encouragement, motivation and praise.

Show kindness, generosity and invest not just money but time into them.

Because when all is said and done, family is interwoven in your destiny.

It comes down to the small details … creating meaningful moments … making time for them, even leaving your office door open as often as possible to your kids can wander in and delight you, and in many cases inspire you. And connect you with what really matters.

A big shout out to Rena Whittaker, my dear friend and author of BeingTribal, a book encouraging us to practice life in one-degree shifts within and without the tribes we love and share our lives with – for they are the catalysts to our healing and wholeness.