In pursuit of relevancy
Sooo … in Australia, the 2020 class of MAFs (Married At First Sight, a TV reality show where brides and grooms meet for the first time at the altar) is in full swing.
If 2019 is anything to go by, cue the mayhem, drama, controversy, up-one-man-ship, outperforming eye scratching and attention grabbing antics … all in the name of entertainment and pursuit of relevance.
MAFs is a social experiment, a social lab where TV network, producers, the show’s hosts all join hands and sing from the song sheet. ‘Do whatever it takes to block all reason, mock all social mores for higher ratings and shock for more Instagram influencer power’.
It’s amazing to me how the lure of a larger pay check is driving everyday mums, dads and level headed humans to commit acts of extreme atrocity against themselves and their reputations, driven by the fear they will dissolve into irrelevancy and lose the keys to their suped-up Ranges.
The fact is in today's crowded media multiverse, the tired, torn ‘how to get and remain famous’ bible has been shred down into a few tattered chapters, some of which include:
Duck Kissy Face Slofie 101
Shock Jock Fist Waving 105
Vicious Whitewash Outrage 202
Aggressive Militant Woke Troller 304
Plastic Nude and Rude 401.
Then there are the waning-in-fame comedians and TV hosts who in an attempt to remain in the public eye titillate the anger, fear and rage of the masses with alarmism, scare tactics and shockvertising.
The Guardian describes them as ‘narcissistic populists, all clever enough to know better, who continue to court the attention of angry impotent people and take no personal responsibility for the consequences of their words.’
Yet it’s these very desperate acts, even from prominent ‘celebrities’ that lead to public derision as the gilding wears off in the long run.
Psychologists we are not, but reading between the lines it can be hypothesized that at the heart of every act is fear. And a very real one, which we at Ambsdr acknowledge as being very tangible and full frontal. We’re not here to dump scorn on those very real emotions but to offer an alternative way out.
Fear Not
I recently saw a video circulating on social media that showed a once famous hip hop artist driving an Uber to pay his bills.
The overwhelming reaction from the public was support and respect, that the man had taken an integral choice - to work hard in obscurity - instead of seeking the limelight at whatever cost - in order to pay the bills. He was operating in faith, not fear.
He’d shunned the unhealthy fear of shame.His actions probably got him back in the right spotlight and garnered a huge positive response he could have never received hanging his ass out on a reality show.
Unhealthy fear comes from a place of perceived or imagined danger, which usually isn’t dangerous at all. Unhealthy fear is illogical, oftentimes irrational, and mostly without use.
The only way to overcome fear is to face it - both healthy and unhealthy.
But you can only attempt it if and when you feel equipped to do so because of your deep trust and faith in yourself and/or a Higher Power of your understanding.
It is impossible to walk in faith and fear at the same time. If we replace our unhealthy fears with unending faith, we will be amazed by how quickly our fears will subside.
And while there’s a lot to be said of courage, when it comes to your reputation and future, there’s such a thing as healthy fear.
Taking action out of healthy fear rarely results in any feelings of shame. As opposed to unhealthy and irrational fear, healthy fear encourages or inspires us to to plan ahead, to protect our reputation, to work hard (sometimes even in obscurity), to cultivate the right legacy building qualities inside us, and to build a firm foundation for our future and for those who come after us.
So when that pang of fear shoots up your thigh as you look at your credit card bill and bank account, and you think of that offer on the cards to act the fool in the pursuit of relevancy, take a deep breath.
There's nothing wrong with taking the slower road to achieving your dreams. Pick projects that affirm your humanity, that celebrate the goodness in you and won’t open you up for derision because the world is a cruel boss and doesn’t forgive easily, my friend.
You might say you don't care, but look round at the misery that the quick road to fame has wrought - public scorn, paranoia, drug use, loss of long term income, and even a tragic loss of life.
So many entertainers and celebrities have lost their careers and precious lives because they didn't guard their hearts, and chose money above their intrinsic humanity and value.
Insight Inspiration:
While healthy fear recedes after it serves its purpose, unhealthy fear tends to carry on because there is no real end goal.
Since there is no clear directive from unhealthy fear, rather than inspiring us to take action it causes paralysis and aren’t any clear ways to take action on it. Whatever you do, work on replacing your unhealthy fear with faith – faith in yourself, your journey, your humanity and your validity.
Also remember that healthy fear is powerful when it comes to your brand. Fear of loss of income, fear of ridicule, fear of making costly mistakes – these are all necessary and wise fears.
When you understand that proactively managing your brand out of a healthy fear of losing your reputation is going to put you in a position of strength and not in one of powerlessness, you’ll do whatever it takes to ensure your reputation remains intact.
Own who you are, and never let anything or anyone - money, agents, networks, the media - exploit your talent and twist your values.
Anything less and you’re on the slippery slope to irrelevancy.
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